There are guides here on what the mother of the bride and mother of the groom wear, and on what the groom's mother wears specifically. The fathers get told to wear something nice and are then put in every formal photograph of the day, on their feet for twelve hours, in the one outfit they chose in a hurry.
This page is about that. Not a style list — the guide for male guests in Toronto already covers function-by-function dressing, and the kurta pajama guide covers construction and fabric. What follows is what changes when you are not a guest but a host.
You are a host, not a guest, and that changes the garment
A guest arrives, sits, eats, dances and leaves. A father of the bride or groom is at the venue before the decorators have finished and after the last car has gone. In between he does the milni, stands in a receiving line for the better part of two hours, is pulled into perhaps forty photographs, and in a Hindu ceremony performs the kanyadaan on the mandap floor.
None of that is about looking good. It is about a garment that survives twelve hours of being worn, bowed in, garlanded, embraced by two hundred people, and photographed next to another family. Three constraints follow, and they are the ones nobody plans for.
Twelve hours, not four, and no chance to change
Guests change between functions. The father usually does not — he is running the day. That rules out one thing in particular: a high, stiff band collar with dense embroidery at the throat. It is comfortable for three hours and intolerable by hour nine, and the heat of a banquet hall with four hundred people in it makes it worse. Choose a lower, softer band, and put the surface work on the chest and placket rather than at the neck. The difference is unnoticeable in a photograph and enormous by the end of the night.
The milni photograph puts the two fathers side by side
Of all the compositions in a South Asian wedding album, the milni is the one where both fathers appear together, usually garlanded, usually in the frame alone. It is also the only outfit decision in the whole day that involves another household.
The practical rule is not to agree a colour with the other family. It is to agree the weight. Two fathers in equally heavy, equally bright ivory read as competition; one in a plain kurta next to one in dense zardozi reads as a mismatch, and the photograph is on a wall for thirty years. A five-minute phone call a week before settles it, and almost nobody makes that call.
Garlands sit exactly where pale embroidery is
At the milni the fathers are garlanded, often more than once. A fresh marigold or carnation garland is heavy, damp, and sits directly on the neckline and shoulder seam — which is where the dye runs on a pale kurta, and where thread work gets crushed. Ivory and champagne are the natural instinct for a father of the bride and the riskiest choice at this particular moment.
Two workable answers. Wear a mid-tone or deeper shoulder, so a mark does not read. Or wear a Nehru jacket or waistcoat, so the garland rests on the jacket rather than on the kurta, and the jacket comes off after the photographs. An Ivory Silver Ornate Nehru Jacket Kurta Set or an Ivory Silver Geometric Nehru Jacket Kurta Set gives you a pale look with a removable top layer, which is the only way to have ivory and not worry about it.
The pocket, which sounds trivial and is not
On the day, the father carries shagun envelopes, the car keys, a phone the photographer and the caterer both keep calling, and often a printed list from the priest. Most embroidered kurtas have no usable pocket at all, and the ones that do have a decorative one that will not hold an envelope.
A Nehru jacket or a waistcoat is the only piece in this category with real pockets, which is a sound practical reason to choose one for the ceremony day rather than a styling one. A Sand Beige Brooch Men's Waistcoat Kurta Set or an Ivory Yellow Silver Nehru Jacket Kurta Set solves the problem the rest of the category ignores.
Kanyadaan, the mandap floor, and what the bottom half has to do
In most Hindu traditions the bride's father sits or kneels on the mandap for a long stretch, and the ritual involves water poured over joined hands. Two consequences.
The floor. Ninety minutes cross-legged, then standing, then down again. A straight-cut trouser pulls hard across the thigh and sets a crease that does not fall out; a softer tapered pyjama or churidar moves with the leg. If the ceremony is in a gurdwara or a mandir, assume floor seating throughout — the gurdwara and mandir guide goes into this in more detail, and the Anand Karaj guide and the Hindu ceremony guide cover the religious portion from the family's side.
The water. Pale trousers soak at the knee during kanyadaan and the mark stays visible for the rest of the day. A lighter kurta over a darker bottom is far more forgiving than an all-ivory set, and it is a combination nobody warns you about because nobody writes for the person actually performing the ritual.
One more small thing: shoes come off at the mandap and at the gurdwara, repeatedly, so have the hem set barefoot rather than in the shoes you will arrive in. Two inches of trouser dragging on a floor several hundred people have crossed barefoot is the detail you will notice in the photographs.
Coordinating with the groom without matching him
The groom is the brightest and most heavily worked man in the room, and that is the point. The rule for both fathers is simple enough to apply from a phone: one step quieter in colour and one step lighter in surface work. If the groom is in ivory and gold, a father in stone, taupe, sage or navy reads correctly. If the groom is in a deep jewel tone, a father in a muted neutral does the same job.
The pieces that sit in that register: a Stone Grey Antique Gold Heritage Kurta Set, a Mushroom Taupe Silver Botanical Kurta Set, a Midnight Navy Antique Gold Floral Kurta Set or a Charcoal Black Antique Gold Floral Kurta Set for the evening. For the daytime functions, where colour is expected rather than tolerated, a Mustard Gold Heritage Kurta Set, a Sage Mughal Heritage Kurta Set or a Royal Yellow Heritage Kurta Set sits comfortably at a haldi or mehndi without competing. The Haldi Ka Rang and Mehndi Noor edits are built around those two mornings, and Wedding Reception around the formal evening.
One caution on black. At a reception or sangeet in Canada it is unremarkable and common. For the religious portion of the day, ask — a number of households treat black as inauspicious for the ceremony itself, and the question costs nothing.
What this shop stocks, and what it does not
Worth saying plainly, because it saves a drive. The men's range here is kurta sets, Nehru-jacket sets and waistcoat sets, plus one burgundy floral jacket and trouser set. There are no full sherwanis.
For a father that is rarely a limitation. A sherwani is the groom's garment, and a father in one is usually either the groom's father at a very formal ceremony or a man who wanted a sherwani. A well-worked kurta set with a Nehru jacket is correct at every function on the card, photographs as formally, and is considerably easier to sit on a floor in. The full range is in Men's Wear, and the Timeless Collection is the right place to start if you want something that will carry past this one wedding.
Fit, and the two measurements worth paying attention to
Two things decide whether a kurta looks bought or borrowed: the shoulder seam should sit on the point of the shoulder, not past it, and the sleeve should end where the wrist bone begins. Neither can be corrected cheaply afterwards. Chest and length are easy — if you are between sizes, take the larger and have the sides taken in.
Two additions for a father specifically. A Nehru jacket is cut closer than the kurta under it, so check that you can fasten it sitting down, not just standing. And if you expect to be garlanded, check that you can get a garland over your head without catching the collar — a high mandarin collar with a stiff facing is where garlands snag.
The measuring guide walks through taking the numbers, and the alterations guide for Toronto and Brampton covers what is worth altering. Allow three to four weeks before the first function: the alteration queue lengthens through the November-to-February season, and a job that takes a few days in September takes longer in December.
Where to try these on
Shoulder seam, collar height and colour under real light are all difficult to judge from a photograph, and all three matter more for a twelve-hour day than for a four-hour one. The Brampton store is at 2575 Steeles Avenue East, Unit 9, open 11:00 to 20:00 seven days a week, and trying three kurta sets on takes about twenty minutes. Custom sizing is available on request if the standard sizes do not fit.
Common questions
What should the father of the bride wear to an Indian wedding?
A well-worked kurta set, ideally with a Nehru jacket or waistcoat, in a tone one step quieter than the groom's and with the embroidery on the chest rather than at the throat. Pair a lighter kurta with a darker bottom if you are performing the kanyadaan.
Should the two fathers coordinate their outfits?
They should agree the weight rather than the colour, because the milni photograph puts them side by side. Two very heavy outfits compete and one plain against one ornate looks like a mismatch. A short phone call before the week of the wedding is enough.
Can the father of the groom wear a sherwani?
He can, and at a very formal ceremony some do. It is traditionally the groom's garment, though, and a kurta set with a Nehru jacket reads as formal while being far easier to wear through a long day of floor seating. This shop stocks kurta sets and jacket sets rather than full sherwanis.
What colour should the bride's father avoid?
Nothing is forbidden, but pale ivory is the riskiest choice for the ceremony day, because garlands mark it and kanyadaan water shows on it. Ask the family about black before wearing it to the religious portion of the day; at a reception it is unremarkable.
How many outfits does the father of the bride need?
Two usually covers it: one lighter and brighter for haldi, mehndi or sangeet, and one deeper and more formal for the ceremony and reception. Three is comfortable if the functions run across two weekends.
Is a churidar or a straight trouser better for the ceremony?
A softer tapered pyjama or churidar, if there is floor seating — which there is at a mandap, a gurdwara and a mandir. A straight-cut trouser creases hard across the thigh when you sit cross-legged and does not recover.
How far ahead should the outfit be bought?
Three to four weeks before the first function, because alterations are likely and the queue is longest through the winter wedding season. Have the hem set barefoot rather than in shoes, since shoes come off at the ceremony.
